Ten truths to help you survive the streets.
* Written in AAV so pass this post if that upsets you or you don’t know what that means.*
2020 cuffing season is upon us ladies and many of us are building our roasters. The skreets are a crazy place and it's important to stay safe so you can live to see summer 2021 when our passports work & you can guilt-free twerk after brunch at a day party with your friends. I have compiled a list of 10 dating truths to help you navigate the streets this draft season.
Some RAW truth
Men don’t value things they get for free. To be honest, no one values things they get for free. We value the things we earn in life. Making people earn your time, love, and affection is the way to go.
Men spend time and money on the things they value. He may not always have money to spend but he will spend time if that’s the case. If he isn’t trynna spend either then girl he don’t want you.
You won’t need to tell the man meant for you. He knows already. Actually, all these men know what most women expect from a relationship (Valentine’s Day, dates, holidays. Etc). They don’t do it because like toddlers, men love to see what they can get away with. Don’t let him get away with it sis.
While sex is amazing, wonderful, and great when dating men you can not get attached to good sex. Dick stands for distraction and men will use good dick to try and confuse the hell out of you. When we sleep with people to early and get attached to the dick, we miss or ignore red flags & fall into situations rather than choosing those situations. The streets are full of good dick men WITH perks so don’t settle for just good dick and conversation this cuffing season.
Texting or talking every day is unnecessary! Men know that this is a stupid requirement most women of our generation hold and they use it against us to create an illusion of applying pressure. A man will text you every day and use that as a show of “effort”. Reasonably, it's an effort to talk to another person every single day but not the type of effort that will let you know if he values you or not. Truth is you don’t want that type of effort sis but you settle for it because at least its attention. He will talk to you every day for weeks making you think you're getting to know the real him. Grow close where you can FEEL the vibe and read the body language. As a woman, your intuition is one of your greatest assets so use it and let that man get to know you in person! Go on dates, hang out in public spaces, talk over coffee or food but I strongly advise against texting/face-timing heavy especially in the first month.
For the most part, men can’t multitask. They gotta focus one thing at a time. A man who says he’s focused on his career is probably telling the truth but the worst thing you can do is wait around giving him pussy hoping he will eventually focus on you. Focus on you & wait until he’s done building and tired, then he will gladly come to you.
Men settle in marriage women settle in dating. Women settle in dating because women don’t flex their power of choice. Women often get so scared this is their last chance at love or that they could be turning down the one we go with whatever jackass likes us. Men, on the other hand, choose in the dating world and have their fun but by the time men are done building they are tired and have likely already lost the girl of their dreams through immaturity. For men dating is very logic-based and they marry who is around, available and a logical fit when they decide they are ready. They just choose from whoever is there sis so be a chooser in your premarital dating life.
All men are interested because all men want to have sex. This means in your dating life there will be many men looking to get your attention. They will all seem interested because girl you’re a catch but let me tell you, interested doesn’t equate to serious. It doesn’t mean they are prepared to value you. Look for men to show you they value you through how they respect and treat you. Any man can love the idea of you and many men do just that. If he is just trying to get your attention but has no intentions once he’s got it dub him sis!
He knows your worth he’s just hoping you don’t. Men know your worth and they know when you’re too good for them. The issue is we generally don’t know and they capitalize on this weakness. As I said earlier, men tend to lean on logic when dating and this means logically if he can get a chance, even if it's only a few hours, with a once in a lifetime woman why on earth wouldn’t he take it? It is your job to guard the treasure that is you, your time, your energy, your love, affection, attention, your very being, and essence (you're lit girl). Do not look to these men to be more than human and override their human tendencies to do what's best for you. Everyone in the streets is for themselves, stay safe.
The only way to beat them is to join them and be logical af. When women become logical and organized in their dating decision making the power shifts back to them. I honestly believe that which is why I have built systems in my coaching to help both women and men remain grounded in ourselves and our goals while we navigate the dating scene. While it is beautiful to give in to our emotions and fall in love, it is good to not allow emotions to get ahead of our judgment. As Queen Megan Thee Stallion said “two types of people in this life and I’m a chooser”. Become a chooser sis.