Beacuse friends are the family we choose.
We hear about relationship red flags all the time but what about friendships? Close friendships have a significance impact on our mentalities and their impact can easily be greater than that of a romantic relationship. The damage done by toxic friends can take just as long to recover from as a toxic romance. At the same time the compounded positive effects that a healthy friendship can have on you can be immeasurable. Healthy love in any form empowers us to soar to new heights. Friends are the family we choose, I have complied some red flags to avoid as well as green light to run towards.
5 Friendship Red Flags
They have a hard time being happy for you and others.
The friend who’s there when your down and mad when you’re up. This is the friend who struggles with envy and is generally a hater. They will ride with you through hell but be mad when you try to get to heaven.
They say mean things in jest.
We are not in high school any more. Leave the going on each other for your adolescent friendships. In adult friendships you should be able to be honest and check each other when needed be but your real friends won’t make disparaging and shady remarks about you. They won’t find things funny at the expense of your self-esteem.
They make inappropriate comments about your significant other/romantic interest.
They talk about how attractive your love interest is, make comments that you better “watch out”, or on the other side of the coin they make mean, and nasty comments. Either way they aren’t your true friend. Your real friends aren’t looking at your significant other and drooling, and your real friends know better than to try and degrade someone you are claiming as an important part of your life.
They try to negotiate your boundaries or disregard them totally.
This one is really self-explanatory. People who respect you respect your boundaries. They don’t try to push them. Also, your adult friends don’t got time to play mental gymnastics with you so if you say something they will likely assume you mean it and move accordingly. The friend who is always trying to peer pressure you into something you have stated you have a boundary against isn’t a real friend.
They have a problem with you making new friends.
Your adult friendships should have no room for jealousy of any type, even if it is expressed in a protective or possessive manner. Healthy friends have no issue with you expanding your network and branching out because they love to see you fly! It signals a deep insecurity when someone feels threatened by the possibility of a new person in your life.