Three things to avoid when manifesting your soul mates.
Many of us have seen the meme asking wheres our soul mate at? While we may laugh this is a very real question for those of us still in the search of our life partners. A wise woman names Boots once told me the most solid dating advice along the lines of “the person meant for you are on a parallel journey to you and they will be waiting at the finish line like what took you so long”. As we work to evolve into the best versions of ourselves we can easily grow impatient. While is important to be patient and understand that forcing a matching in everyone you meet won’t manifest a true connection here are three things to avoid when manifesting your soul mates.
Presenting an inauthentic version of yourself.
This is something I see often in particularly young men although it is just as present in the general population of women. When you present an inauthentic version of yourself you do two things:
1) You attract partners not truly in line with your core values.
2) You turn off partners who may be right for you.
Most women go with their gut and will be able to see right through your facade. Even if they can’t quite put their finger on it. It might take a few dates and no evidence but I assure you she will catch on and if she has any good sense she will leave you alone. Presenting inauthentically is a sign of dishonestly with one’s self. Many people lose themselves in fronts they create to mask who they are. When we do this, we attract partners that match our egos facade not our souls and we deter our soul mates.
Holding on to old toxic tendencies.
Look let’s be honest when people are freshly leaving a toxic cycle there might as well be a huge neon sign that says “crazy” on their forehead. Many of us wonder why we can’t attract our life partner soul mates forgetting we aren’t at that stage of our evolution yet. The truth is it takes time to break a toxic cycle of any kind because you have to break yourself of the habits that no longer serve you. This is not an overnight process. While your life partner may be waiting for you at the finish line they will likely know their worth, smell that you are still on bullshit, and stay away. I always say “God can’t bless you if your hands are full of bullshit.” Focus more on ridding yourself of the stench of situations past and embodying the relationship you wish to receive and less on manifesting the physical person. This will signal to the universe that you are ready for them to come to you.
Avoiding the healing work you need to do.
This is particularly directed at my Black Kings. The pressure on Black men to provide in a world that has actively been designed to strip him of his ability to provide to his highest level is immense. This I truly understand but money will not heal you. Many men are looking for “a real one” but have not taken the time to do the inner work on themselves to be “real”. In dating, you have to embody the energy you wish to attract so if you are embodying shallow energy naturally that is what you will get back. As our society pressures men to show their worth through their ability to provide so many men feel that once they become rich they will have done enough. The truth is money doesn’t solve anything, it can only provide you access to resources, but the choice to heal yourself will always be yours. At best, money amplifies what is already within you. This goes in hand with # 1, presenting an inauthentic version of self. If you want to be loved for who you truly are you have to be willing to allow yourself to be seen and to step away from the shield of riches. Money can provide freedom only if your mind and emotions are not held hostage by fear, ignorance, or any other low vibrating feelings. Men are constantly reminded to handle their finances before dating but I encourage you to work on your inner self as well and heal from lingering childhood traumas BEFORE DATING (and I truly mean before, not while you casually date well-meaning women who provide you the free emotional labor of rehab centers). Self-care, therapy, and self-love isn't only for the ladies.