As my birthday approaches in a few days I reflect on the greatest lesson I've learned in my 20's so far.
You only owe obedience to God.
People close to you hold limiting beliefs about you. Only God views you as limitless and this is the view you must adopt of yourself. Friends and family see you from a limited view because their ego is involved and they only know that they know about you.
We often take advice from people that are close to us not realizing that they are unqualified to be giving us advice on the subject matter. We blindly follow their lead and get upset when we end up at an unintended destination. We listen to our friends, family, and peers not because they are right but because we overvalue their opinions and fear their judgments. It is natural to over lean on their decision making when we lack confidence in our own.
We fear their rejection, we fear failure because we fear being ridiculed for going against the grain. That is how so many of us end up in unsatisfying career paths we hate because someone we overvalued said it would be a safe choice. This is how people look up at age forty only to realize the life they are living is nothing like the life they once envisioned because they followed the vision of someone else. We are programmed to spend our whole lives chasing the approval of friends and family, only to never truly gain it.
Often people in our lives advise us with themselves in mind & with a superficial scope of our capabilities. Their familiarity with us creates a box. When we try to fit into the little box that people have created for us we ultimately betray ourselves.
The most important thing I’ve learned in my 20s thus far is to always trust my gut. To lean on my intuition and always trust myself. At worst, if I fail it is at least on my own accord. What I’ve learned is that I will never steer myself wrong as long as I am being guided by God. Through my own series of mistakes, I have learned that the “easy” way is always a trap. It may be the path well-traveled that is being presented to you but it is also probably the path of least reward.
I will be 27 on Monday the 8th and I’ve had more serious rock bottoms than anyone I know. I also know that almost every time I have found myself at rock bottom it has been my own fault because in those moments I chose to listen to the world instead of leaning on my own intuitions.
Listening to myself on the other hand, no matter how outrageous and crazy it has seemed, has never failed me.
I have been told my whole life that I don't listen, that I am disobedient, but obedience to others has never served me. Along my journey, one of the best skills I have acquired is the ability to block out the noise of others. To ignore the judgments, fears, and opinions of those around me because when you’re in your 20s everyone has an idea of what you should be doing but only you can truly discover what you need to be doing.
Everything I have been told not to do has ended up being what was best for me.
I am not saying don’t listen to anyone. I'm not telling you to ignore valid advice or constructive criticism. I am not telling you to go reinventing the wheel or to discount the outside observation of others. What I am telling you is to trust yourself more. To value your own opinion more than you value the opinion of others. I encourage you, no matter how old you are, to learn to listen to yourself first. To tap into your higher self and lean on your intuition.