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Decoding Man-speak

What do men really mean when they speak?

There is a huge difference in the ways in which men and women communicate. Men typically are taught to communicate in a very direct manner. They speak directly to each other skipping all the pleasantries and getting straight to the point. Women on the other hand are raised with the "good girl" complex. They are taught that communication must be muddled down with pointless pleasantries in order to not upset or offend anyone's egos. This creates a huge disconnect when men and women generally try to communicate. Women often get accused of talking too much and overly explaining/communicating while men get a bad rap for being withdrawn and having a tendency to lie.

I personally do not think men just innately lie, I think men have a difficult time trying to tailor their direct communication style when addressing female counterparts, particularly in dating. Most men are worried about hurting your feelings or fearful of an overreaction and this leads them to communicate in a way that is dishonest. Women lie to each other all the time and men have been trained to lie to women in the same ways in an effort to keep the peace. Let's decode what men really mean in dating.

As a general rule of thumb, if he likes you you will know and if he doesn't you will be confused.

“I don’t want to get married/don’t believe in marriage”

Translation: I don’t see myself marrying you.

“I’m too busy for a relationship right now.”

Translation: I don’t have the desire to prioritize time with you but would like the comfort you provide from time to time.

“I’m not ready for anything serious”

Translation: I am unwilling to put in that amount of effort toward you.

“I like you but I’m focused on my career right now.”

Translation: I’m focused on my career and I am just trying to f**k.

"I don't know what I want"

Translation: I really have no clue what I am doing or where I am going in life so I genuinely don't know what I want.

"Me and my BM are not together we just live together for the kids"

Translation: I am still with my BM.

"I don't want a relationship right now."

Translation: I don't want a relationship with you.

"I like to be friends with my ex's"

Translation: I am willing to sleep with my exes or negotiate getting back together at any time because I am attached.

"I got a lot going on."

Translation: I am overwhelmed by the amount of chaos I have created in my own life.

"Let's just be friends."

Translation: I have dated you enough to know I have no intention of committing to you and I won't actually prioritize you as a friend would but, the sex is good so I want to maintain that access to you.

Hope these help! Make sure to subscribe to the LFTBS mail list to stay up to date with cool things to come!


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